A BIG Hello and congratulations on your nomination to be Vice President of the United States of America. Wow! That's a biggie! Since we haven't seen much of you (but what we have seen -- well, lookin' good!!) I thought I might hit on a couple of things that Charlie Gibson (that ol' softie, makes me wanna knick him in the chin) might not get to this week.
The first question, well, it's a toughie. Sorry. That ol' pesky Roe v. Wade thang. Since we finally got away from those nasty coat hangers and back street butchers, do you really think we want to part with reproductive alternatives all that fast? Now, I know, we should ALL be able to bounce two babies (and there will be two) on our knees, answer the RED phone, fire the secretary of state AND never let our first dude forget he's a man but you know, gov (mind if I call you gov?), just because we should all be able to do that, does it mean we have to? I mean can't we have a -- a ---- choice? OHHHH SORRY. I did not mean to say that dirty six letter word. SOOORRY :) I won't do that again. Don't go getting all pit-bully on me now. Geez, it was just a question.
Oh, just wanted to give you a tip. When thinking foreign policy, think about your pretty ears. Not your enchanting eyes. Because it is EAR-rack and EAR-ran and not EYE-rack and EYE ran. You are focusing on the wrong organ. You are very welcome in advance!! I am sure at this point you can use all the foreign policy tips you can get LOL. Oh, geez. Relax, gov, don't get so defensive. Oh, yes you are! You should see your face right now. That soft little grin looks like it's gonna take out my jugular. Good thing you'd only be biting into a computer!!!
Just a reminder - Foreign policy ? Think Ears. That's all you really need to know!!
Now, since you people up there in Alaska seem to reproduce like rabbits, well at least in YOUR household (just kidding, kind of LOL), you all are gonna need a lot of fuel to keep you warm. I would like to hear what you think we should do after we blasted the North Slope and all that stuff is gone. God, you are going to be in such a bad mood when that happens. First dude'll be spending alot of time down at the watering hole LOL.
The Mortgage Crisis? I think you just better ignore this one, gov. It involves the middle class, and you know they are a bunch of bleeding heart Volvo driving nutcases. They over leveraged their houses and now they are all sad and depressed. Same thing with health care. Just tell them to buck up. If they get whiny, give them the same look you gave Levi after finding out the Blessed News!! That's it!! Ms Pitbull with Lipstick!!! That a girl!! I knew you could do it.
If you need any other suggestions, I am right here, feel free to stop by any time. Good luck with Charlie, and tell him I said hi.
Diana
PS: here and here!! What fun!! Everyone's writing about you!!
Monday, September 8, 2008
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13 comments:
Very nice letter. How kind of you to help with that whole Iran/Iraq thing.
Let us know if she responds.
Diana, I think you have written over her head--maybe simpler language would be better. Better idea--volunteer to prep her for the big interview with Charlie Gibson. You could teach her who Fannie and Freddie, so she doesn't confuse them with a Broadway musical. Let's see--what else?
WELL, of course there's always:
Well, Gov (done in sing song), we've got a newsflash for YOU (done in sing song): That sex ed class promoting abstinence at Juno Senior High? It ain't Work-ing...
I love your approach. Maureen Dowd, watch out!!! Well done!
Some good advice there! Let's hope she never has to use most of it!
You know what's sad? This is exactly the tone she deserves in response to her RNC speech.
And on the ears? Perhaps it would help to remember that with foreign policy you're supposed to *listen* to what the others have to say, trying diplomacy first?
Oh right. That's weak-willed. Damn peace-seekers.
Michelle, the thought of the gov becoming reflective enough to approach the ear thing as you are suggesting means she would show herself to be, well, human? Couldn't happen. She would just dissolve like the wicked witch of the west.
Oh what a nice dream. All that would be left would be a pin, a pair of glasses and a beehive sitting on top of a puddle of wolf stew. Sigh. We would just need a pit bull to lick it up.
As long as everyone is snapping to in Palinland (John McCain included), as long as personal journeys are discouraged and she can twist the arms of children to marry and as long as she thinks she can burn books that are not to her family's personal moral standard, she could be able to hold it together long enough to destroy whatever is left our country's reputation abroad.
Hey now don't go dissing the pitbulls in the world! I've read they are pretty upset at Palin.
Great post! Love your new blog :)
Diana, I think the whole world has gone mad. A soccer mom for the office of Vice President of the United States? Somebody tell me I'm just having a nightmare!
Diana,
This needs to be an editorial in the Washington Post or NY Times. Loved it!
Especially, the Ear - Eye part.
However, I don't want to encourage even more news coverage for this woman or her party. Goodness, enough of the Diva (no offense Judy) worship already!
Let's see how that teleprompter works for her big interview...
A masterpiece, Diana, and if the conglomerators don't all pick it up it won't be my fault.
It's time for women to step up to the plate. Yes, it's wonderful to have in one year the opportunity to vote for a person of color and a woman, but NOT THAT WOMAN!
Thank you ladies. I feel like we should all hold hands and sing a round of We Shall Overcome.
Judith, absolutely - not that woman. I don't want everything our generation stands for to be bitch-kicked back into the dark ages.
Stupid me. I really thought that the term "they had to get married" had been erased from the American vernacular. I very much intensely dislike her sacrificing her daughter's future at the alter of her twisted version of political correctness. I very, very much intensely dislike that. That's loving your child? Making her a bride and dictating her future for your own political purposes?
Oh, don't get me started on this broad. Not again. Sigh.
Diana,
I am with you on this. I am afraid and a bit sick on so many levels. Very well said. Thanks for this post.
If she can sacrifice her family, how the hello can she think to others?
Karen
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